ᏩᎡᎾᏔ ᎪᏚ ᏔᎬ ᏩᎾ

Hey all, this is inspired by the song “Grow as We Go” by Ben Platt, hope you enjoy!

-Chloe

“YᎾᏌ ᏚᎪᏆᎠ ᎢᎻᎬᎡᎬ’Ꮪ ᏚᎾ ᎷᏌᏟᎻ YᎾᏌ ᎠᎾN’Ꭲ KNᎾᏔ.. YᎾᏌ NᎬᎬᎠ ᎢᎾ ᏩᎾ ᎪNᎠ FᏆNᎠ YᎾᏌᎡᏚᎬᏞF”

It had been exactly 42 days since Evan had told the truth. 42 days since he lost everything good in his life. Sure, maybe he gained some purity again, the weight of lying lifted off of his chest, but the losses trumped the positives. It had been 42 days until Evan accepted that everything was all his fault.

“ᎾᎾᎻ, ᏔᎻᎾ ᏚᎪᏆᎠ ᏆᎢ’Ꮪ ᎢᎡᏌᎬ, ᎢᎻᎪᎢ ᎢᎻᎬ ᏩᎡᎾᏔᏆNᏩ ᎾNᏞY ᎻᎪᏢᏢᎬNᏚ ᎾN YᎾᏌᎡ ᎾᏔN”

It had also been 42 days since he last talked to Zoe Murphy. She was the loss that he was mourning the most. She was everything that Evan didn’t deserve... yet she was everything he needed. His mind couldn’t help but wander back to a conversation they had, when their relationship wasn’t about Connor anymore, when it was just about them.

“Evan, I love you for you, not for Connor, not for anything else, just you...”

Evan had gripped onto her words, let them be the only thing in his universe. Somebody, had finally loved him, and 42 days ago, he set it to flames.

“Ꮖ ᎠᎾN’Ꭲ ᎢᎻᏆNK YᎾᏌ ᎻᎪᏙᎬ ᎢᎾ ᏞᎬᎪᏙᎬ, ᏆF ᎢᎾ ᏟᎻᎪNᏩᎬ ᏆᏚ ᏔᎻᎪᎢ YᎾᏌ NᎬᎬᎠ, YᎾᏌ ᏟᎪN ᏟᎻᎪNᏩᎬ ᎡᏆᏩᎻᎢ NᎬXᎢ ᎢᎾ ᎷᎬ”

He didn’t really mean to text her... through his sobbing and hysteria, his thumbs had graced the keys, and the long string of texts had already been texts. Just begging her to meet with him again, to be with him again. Promising her no more lies, that they could get through any hardships, that they could grow together. It was long and pathetic, one would’ve assumed Evan was drunk at the first glance of the texts, but he was very much sober when he tragically wrote to his ex.

“ᏔᎻᎬN YᎾᏌᎡ ᎻᏆᏩᎻ Ꮖ’ᏞᏞ ᎢᎪKᎬ ᎢᎻᎬ ᏞᎾᏔᏚ, YᎾᏌ ᏟᎪN ᎬᏴᏴ ᎪNᎠ Ꮖ ᏟᎪN FᏞᎾᏔ..”

And he was left on read.

She owed nothing to him, Evan needed to realize that. He was given everything. He got greedy. After all of his lies... did he really deserve a second chance? Evan obsessed over the read receipt for weeks. Soon, it was 55 days since since Evan ruined everything, and he still felt as awful as he did from when he muttered the first

“I- I’m sorry..”

“ᎪNᎠ ᏔᎬ’ᏞᏞ ᏩᎡᎾᏔ ᎪᏚ ᏔᎬ ᏩᎾ..”

It took years before Evan finally deleted Zoe’s off of his phone. He didn’t get to move on with her... he had to learn how to move on without her. He never changed his number, just in case she would call, he would walk by her house every time he was nearby, just in case she was looking out the window, but of course nothing ever came from it. Soon, Evan would be at some college town, and the name Zoe would never cross his mind.

“ᎾᎾᎻ, ᏔᎻᎾ ᏚᎪᏆᎠ ᏆᎢ’Ꮪ ᎢᎡᏌᎬ, ᎢᎻᎪᎢ ᎢᎻᎬ ᏩᎡᎾᏔᏆNᏩ ᎾNᏞY ᎻᎪᏢᏢᎬNᏚ ᎾN YᎾᏌᎡ ᎾᏔN”

The one thing, that Evan would do that would forever tie him to the Murphy’s, was visit Connor on his birthday every year. Leave flowers, talk to the stone encrypted with his name for a while, and then move on with the rest of his year. Connor would’ve now been 23, and Evan stared at the grave for a moment as he let himself a boy he had never really met. The silence around him was suddenly interrupted by a small voice

“Evan..?”

He looked up, his eyes widening at the figure

“Zoe?”

“Ꮖ ᎠᎾN’Ꭲ ᎢᎻᏆNK YᎾᏌ ᎻᎪᏙᎬ ᎢᎾ ᏞᎬᎪᏙᎬ... ᏆF ᎢᎾ ᏟᎻᎪNᏩᎬ ᏆᏚ ᏔᎻᎪᎢ YᎾᏌ NᎬᎬᎠ, YᎾᏌ ᏙᎪN ᏟᎻᎪNᏩᎬ ᎡᏆᏩᎻᎢ NᎬXᎢ ᎢᎾ ᎷᎬ. ᏔᎻᎬN YᎾᏌ’ᎡᎬ ᎻᏆᏩᎻ Ꮖ’ᏞᏞ ᎢᎪKᎬ ᎢᎻᎬ ᏞᎾᏔᏚ. YᎾᏌ ᏟᎪN ᎬᏴᏴ ᎪNᎠ Ꮖ ᏟᎪN FᏞᎾᏔ. ᎪNᎠ ᏔᎬ’ᏞᏞ ᏩᎡᎾᏔ ᎪᏚ ᏔᎬ ᏩᎾ...”